


and the tears stream down my face

by glowinginthedark



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Rape, Smut, Top!Harry, babysitter!Harry, bottom!Louis, i forgot about capital letters oh, underage!louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2013-11-09
Packaged: 2017-12-29 21:48:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1010494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glowinginthedark/pseuds/glowinginthedark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry didn't know when he agreed to babysit some kid that he would be so irresistible.</p><p>(Or, the one where louis' babysitter harry rapes him because he really couldn't resist)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi so i hope you enjoy this it was a prompt that was on [bottomlouislibrary](http://bottomlouislibrary.tumblr.com/post/52187568492/so-today-i-had-the-weirdest-dream-ever-basically) and i just hope that i did the prompt justice haha
> 
>  **Warnings:** please note that there is rape in this fic which can be very triggering and also louis gets raped until he bleeds so if that may bother/upset you **please** stop reading right now. thank you.
> 
>  **Notes:** the first bit is mostly just dialogue and i haven't properly edited it because i was rushing to get it out today but i'll come back and edit it sometime whenever (i'm not kidding i'm really busy). also, i don't know things about drugs. 
> 
> enjoy the smut i guess lol
> 
> ~~~the title is from moments~~~

'louis! we're leaving now!' louis mum shouted up the stairs, 

'ok I'm coming!' louis shouted back, pausing his playstation and running down the stairs, entering the living room

he stops short once he realises it's not only his parents in the room

'um..mum.. who's this?' louis asks, slightly mesmerised by the boy, no, _man_ , sitting on his favourite couch. 

'louis, this is harry', louis mum explains pointing to the man, 'he's gonna be babysitting you tonight'

harry. his name was harry. it fitted him perfectly and wait- 'babysitter?! mum I thought we agreed I was old enough to be here by myself!'

'that was before you nearly burnt down the house trying to make toast!' 

'but _mum_ -'

'this isn't up for discussion louis. harrys staying.' 

louis sighs, he can't believe he's having to have a babysitter at his age. he's not even a baby 

'your father and I are leaving now, louis,' she says leaning down to kiss his forehead 

'bye mum. bye dad.' louis mumbled, stonefaced 

'bye baby. we'll be back around 1' she says as his father waves and then they're out the door

louis watches them leave then slowly turns around to face harry 

who's staring right at him 

'hi' harry says looking at him with piercing green eyes and a wide grin

'I'm not a baby just so you know. I'm twelve.' louis answers back with a scowl on his face

'I never said you were a baby louis'

'ok good. I'm going back to my game.' louis turns around and makes his way to go back up to his room 

\--

when louis comes back down half an hour later he's welcomed to the sight of harry sitting in the same position except now watching tv, some comedy movie that's been on about a thousand times in the last week. 

'hey louis!' harry greets once he notices the boy standing in the doorway

'hi louis' greets back, smiling sheepishly, 

'wanna watch the rest of this movie with me?'

'sure' louis makes his way over to the couch and sits down on the other side 

'why don't you move up a bit and we can cuddle' harry asks, smiling towards louis

'okay sure' 

louis scoots up into harrys waiting arms and lays his head on his chest

harrys hand finds its way into louis hair and starts to gently scratch his scalp

'are you hungry babe?' harry questions, looking down at louis 

'uh' louis stammers, blushing from the petname 'yeah a bit'

'what'd you like?'

'whatever you'd like. i'm not fussy' 

'great. how's soup sound?'

louis looks up and gives him a dazzling smile ' that's my favourite' louis announced

'ok, so, how about I go make it and you stay in here and finish the rest of this movie?' harry suggests

'you don't want help?' 

'no it's alright love just enjoy the film' responds, getting off the sofa and making his way to the door that led to the kitchen.

\--

harry stirred the watery substance in the pot and lowered the heat and lidded it so that it could simmer. 

he honestly didn't know how he had gotten so lucky. louis was so beautiful. with his windswept hair and raindrop nose and blue eyes that looked straight into your soul. 

he was so innocent and it turnt harry on more than anything. 

\--

louis heard the doorbell ring as the movies credits rolled. 

confused, he got out of his seat and went to see who it was. 

opening the door revealed his favourite cousin, ally

'ally! what're you doing here?!' he laughs, pulling her into a hug

'my parents are going out for the evening and aren't coming back until tomorrow,' ally explains, 'didn't my mum tell yours?' 

'no. she's not even here. I have a babysitter' he says with a slight huff

'oohhh that's so cool lou-lou I wanna see!' she says barging past and entering his living room 

louis closes the door slowly and enters the room after her 'uh.. aren't your parents coming in?'

'they said they couldn't stop because they're running late so they just dropped me off and drove away' 

'oh' louis looks down at his feet

'so where's this babysitter you speak of-' 

'louis who was at the- why hello' harry says smiling down at the girl 'who're you?'

ally looks stunned for a moment and then answers, 'I'm ally' with faux shyness, looking up at harry through her eyelashes

'well hi ally I'm harry our names kind of rhyme don't they' 

'yeah!' ally agrees, giggling into her small palm 

louis scowls where he's standing in the doorway, watching the ordeal sick to his stomach 

he loved his cousin but harry was _his_ babysitter and he didn't get why she was acting this way to get his attention

louis walks over to harry and looks up at him with big blue eyes 'harry is the food ready yet?'

'fifteen minutes babe. why don't we watch another movie and cuddle again, hm?'

'I wanna cuddle!!' ally pouts

harry looks to his left and inwardly sighs. he'd forgotten about the girl who now seemed like she'd be likely to cause an issue 

'sure thing babe!' he says with a falsely bright voice

'can we watch a sports movie?' louis asks quietly, slightly deflated that the name hadn't been a special thing just for louis 

'sure thin-' harry starts

'no way are we gonna watch some boring movie on disgusting sports players' ally answers instead, 

harry turned to face the young girl once again, annoyance etched into his features. 

'louis asked to watch a movie first therefore we'll be watching what he asked to watch'

'but-' ally argued 

'no buts, either watch it or go to bed'

ally stormed over to the couch with a huff and louis followed while harry went to fix up the DVD player

when the movie's set up harry goes back over to the couch and sits on the edge near the armrest, leaving louis between him and ally

'I don't even see why we're watching this he's seen it a million times' ally mutters under her breath. harry looks over at her and gives her a warning look. 

she's gonna be more annoying than he thought. 

\-- 

15 minutes later and harry was turning off the stove and removing the pot from the heat. 

he walks into the living area where louis and ally are sat, watching the last half of the second movie. 

'do you both want some soup?' he asks 

'yes please' they both reply, looking up

'I'll come help you dish out!' ally says jumping off the sofa and walking towards the adjacent door leading to the kitchen 

'no thanks. I'll do just fine' harry replies turning back into the kitchen, and letting the door slam as he done so. 

'so fucking annoying' he murmurs under his breath. 

he needed something to get rid of the girl, at least for a few hours, so that he could have some special time with louis 

smirking to himself he reached into his back jean pocket and found the thing he always made sure he had on him when he was around little kids. 

\--

'guys come to the dinner table!' harry shouts out hoping his voice can be heard through the walls 

he knows it can when he hears two sets of small feet paddling to join him in the kitchen 

'it smells delicious harry' louis says as he takes his seat looking up at the older boy through his thick eyelashes 

ally sits in her seat with her signature scowl she'd had on since harry had told her off and says nothing 

'thanks love' harry says smiling back down at him

he places their bowls in front of them and one for himself 

'hold on- why does my one look like this?' ally wonders

'like what hun?' harry asks, with fake confusion 

'like.. sicky. vomit-y. it looks gross,' ally says, with a face of disgust, 'louis' doesn't look like this. neither does yours!'

'ally!,' louis looks at her shock on his face 'don't be so mean to harry it's delicious. just eat it.' 

ally huffs for the thousandth time of that evening and starts to spoon her soup into her mouth 

harry watches as smiles smugly to himself. it was too easy. 

\-- 

'finished!' louis shouts with a grin as he drops his spoon into his empty bowl 

'did you like it babe?'

'yes it was beautiful' louis answers, looking over at harry 

'that's good' 

'I feel funny' ally suddenly speaks up after silence throughout the whole meal

harry eyes her bowl and sees little over half left but knows that she's eaten more than enough for it to take effect 

'funny how?' louis asks

'just like tired and..dizzy? I'm just really confused I don't- I feel like i'm gonna faint. and the room's spinning really fast and-' ally is cut off as her head hits the small wooden table with a bang so hard it's bound to leave a mark 

'harry,' louis looks up at him with big worried eyes, 'what happened to her?'

'nothing bad, i promise. it'll cure off and you definitely don't need to worry your cute little head about' harry explains, kissing louis forehead

louis smiles, still unsure, despite harrys words. he isn't sure what to make of his cousin, his best friend, unconscious on his dinner table

'c'mon lou how about we go to your room for a bit of playtime?' harrys says, already getting up from his seat

'okay sure, but can you carry me?' louis asks, shyly

'sure' harry laughs, opening his arms to pick up louis and cradle him up the stairs. 

\-- 

harry gently places louis into his bed and lies down next to him

'I thought we were playing we can't play if we're in bed harry!' louis giggles 

'we're gonna play a different type of game tonight babe'

'ok, that's fine!' louis smiles at harry and he can't help but notice how eager he is to please. 'how do we play?' 

'well first it's a secret game so you can't tell anyone once we've finished alright.' 

louis looks confused but agrees nonetheless. 

'great.' harry kisses his temple and reaches for the hem of louis t-shirt 

'wait what're you doing?' louis asks, slightly confused. he's never needed his shirt off to play games before. 

'it's part of the game babe just go with it'

louis is even more confused than ever but stops questioning everything 

he allows harry to take off his top and watches as he throws it onto the floor

harry looks over louis chest and feels himself twitch in his pants from how young he is 

louis starts to cover himself self consciously and wonders why harrys staring at him so intently 

'stop looking at me like that' louis ordered

'why? you're beautiful baby' harry insists, moving forward and gently placing his lips onto louis for a clean kiss

he pulls back as quick as he'd pulled in and looks into the younger boys eyes to try and sense his feelings 

he sees confusion and slight fear but that's nothing he hasn't ever seen before in one of their eyes. he loves it. loves knowing that they fear him but can do nothing about it. 

'was that your first kiss?' harry questioned 

'yeah' was the breathed out reply that he received 

he leans back in and this time opts for a more heated kiss. he pushes his tongue against louis teeth which automatically open and gains him access into the younger boys mouth. 

still connected by lips, harry shifts around until he is on top of louis and pressing down harder until the younger boy gasps away for breath. 

'harry what're you doing?' 

'shh babe you'll like it. you're being so good.' 

'it feels strange' louis pouts 

'it will at first. just let me continue and it'll get better, i promise.'

'ok' 

satisfied, harry leans back down to plant kisses over louis face before kissing his lips and quickly starting where he left off

harry works to get his own top off, drying off a line of sweat already forming at his forehead

louis stares at harrys chest in awe, at his defined muscles and array of tattoos, and harry can't help but feel smug. 

he decides to tease the younger boy, 'like what you see?' 

louis opts not to answer; looks away at the floor, a blush colouring his cheeks. 

'are you ready for the game to start?' harry asks with a undescribed glint in his eyes 

'yeah I guess so. like I'm not really sure how to even play?' louis says, his confusion making it sound like a question. 

'it's ok babe you probably wouldn't know how to play if i told you the game anyway' 

'oh..ok.' louis replies feeling dumb, 'could you maybe teach me?'

'sure, but to play properly we have to get you out of your bottoms' 

'why?'

'it's part of the game' harry responds, undoing the string of louis' sweatpants. 'could you do it yourself babe while I take off mine' 

'I guess' louis works to pull down his pants and throws them onto the floor, next to his and harrys shirts

once harrys taken off his jeans he blindly throws them and looks down to the sight of louis in his boxers. 

'fuck' harry murmurs, drinking in the small frame of louis' body and wanting nothing more than to mark it all over. 

'what? I said stop looking at me like that!' louis exclaims trying to cover himself again

'sorry you're just really irresistible' harry looks back down at louis' body and licks his lips

'so the game is you staring at me half naked?' louis was very befuddled.

'no, we need to prep you before you can play' harry explained

'well hurry up then we've been here for like fifteen minutes i wanna start playing' louis whined

harry physically gulped at the words that had just left the younger boys mouth. He had no idea how much harry had wanted to prep him the whole evening. 'ok'

louis waited for harry to move or do something, he didn't.

'harry! hurry up i'm bored'

'so impatient' harry mumbled, as he rolled off the bed and went into his jean pocket to find the two sachets of lube he had put in there earlier. he took them and made his way back to the bed, sitting instead of lying 

'what's that?' louis questions

'it's what i'll need to prep you properly' harry cleared up

'well get _on_ with it' 

harry couldn't handle it anymore. he was harder than he'd ever been with any of the others and he needed to do something about it. 'take off your boxers' 

louis looked up at harry, confused at the sudden change of his tone of voice. when he saw him, he was also shocked at the change of his eyes. before they had care in them and now all he could see was hunger. he was staring so raptly. the shock of the change is what made louis quickly take off his boxers and throw them, to go wherever. he was scared now. he didn't know what to do and harry looked like he was about to pounce on him. 

harry stared at louis' body. after hours he was finally here, about to get him ready to get inside him and he couldn't wait. his body urged him to just go in raw but he knew that at louis age there was no way he would survive that. and maybe harry was sick but he wasn't _that_ sick. 

'i'm gonna do something now and when i do you're not going to move or scream or anything like that, okay.' harry ordered, saying it more like a statement than a question. louis just whimpered in response. 'that's what i thought.' 

harry opened one of the packets of lube and spread it over three of his fingers. when he'd decided that enough was spread he crawled closer to louis and put his legs over his shoulder, so that he'd have a better view of him.

'you have such a pretty hole louis' he breathed out onto the boys skin, causing it to clench. 'i bet you're gonna be so tight.' harry got impossibly harder at the thought of being inside louis. to have to stretch him to be able to fit inside. 

harry pushed one of his fingers inside quickly until he reached the knuckle. louis cried out quietly and harry hit his right cheek. 'what did i say' he hissed. the red tint that had now occupied the cheek only turned harry on more, and after only a minute he added a second finger into louis already tight hole. 

'fuck you feel so tight.', harry groaned, 'i can't wait to get my cock inside you, i'm gonna fuck you so hard.' louis was crying by now, silent tears running from his eyes. he wasn't sure what was happening but he knew that he didn't like it. 

'harry, i don't like this game' louis sniffled, harry was moving his fingers so fast and he felt like he was being ripped apart. 'you wanted to play, louis. so we're going to play. you have to finish the game' harry taunted. he started trying to stretch the boy out further, doing scissoring motions with the two fingers already inside louis. he didn't think he could wait until he had used three fingers; until he had him properly stretched out, so two would have to do. 

when harry decided that louis had been as stretched as he could be he took out his fingers. 'is it over? have i finished the game?' louis asks hopefully. harry just laughs and continues with what he's doing. that being getting himself ready. he opens the other packet of lube and spreads it over his cock until its gleaming from the substance

'this may hurt just a bit' harry chuckles when he sees that louis' watching him with watery eyes. he lines himself up and pushing in slowly, but all the way. louis screams out. he's never been in this much pain, not even when he had been nearly broken his leg when he was 11. tears blurred his vision and he started sobbing. he couldn't stop.

'fuck' harry moaned out loudly. his brain and vision had gone blurry and all he could feel was the tight, warm heat around his cock. he was buried inside louis' hole and none of the other children he had fucked had ever felt this tight.

after giving him a moment to get used to the sensation of being full, harry pulled out slowly until only his tip was inside the boy and then pushed back in, in one smooth thrust again. louis was in agony, it was worse now because harry was going slow which meant he felt every drag of the thing that was tearing him apart from the inside out. 

'you're so tight, holy shit' harry strained out. 'by the time i'm done with you you're gonna be so loose. 'm gonna fuck you right open, you're gonna feel me for days. you're gonna remember how much you wanted this, how badly you wanted to be fucked. how hungry you were for it.' 

'you love getting fucked, don't you louis? love being full of cock you do. gonna be a real cock slut when you're older.' louis could hardly even hear what harry was saying, everything was being blocked out apart from the pain from his bumhole. he wished that would be numbed out as well. he felt like he was about to pass out from the pain, but with every passing second he stayed conscious, stayed in the mind numbing pain.

harry leaned up and reached out for louis. he pulled his head forward and gave him a hard kiss, teeth clashing and panting into his mouth. louis could do nothing put allow him to, he couldn't control his limbs anymore. he willed to be taken away. 'please' he begged silently. harry didn't stop. he wasn't sure whether it was because he hadn't heard or because he didn't want to. 

louis' plea had gone straight to harrys groin and made him give the boy one last kiss before he pulled away and started thrusting faster into the boy. 'you're enjoying this aren't you, baby. you love being fucked open.' harry kept fucking him faster and louis suddenly felt something. he cried out a fresh batch of tears everflowing from his eyes, a fresh wave of pain rippled over his body. he couldn't breathe and he was going to black out soon, he could feel it. 

louis squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the pain to finish. he was so tired and still hurting so bad. whatever had happened that had caused louis so much pain seemed to have helped harry however, and all he heard was a demanding 'open your eyes' and he made eye contact with harry

as soon as harry looked into the glistening blue eyes that belonged to louis, he lost it. burying himself deep inside the younger boy, shouting profanities he released himself filling up louis' already tightly packed hole. harry kept thrusting to ride out his orgasm and once he had finished, waited a second before pulling out. 

louis looked at harry. 'are we finished now? please tell me we're finished' he pleaded. 'yeah babe we're finished now' he answered, with a sleepy smile on his face. 

louis tried to lift his chest, despite his sore muscles and saw a bright red colour coming out from where harry had just been. 'arree! i think i'm bleeding' louis frowned. the screams and crying had made his throat hoarse. 

harry looked down at where louis was looking. 'shit' he cursed. he hadn't meant to go so hard that louis bled. how was he meant to explain that to louis' parents. _shit_ louis' parents. he checked the alarm clock on louis' side table. he had about half an hour. ' _shit_ ' he quickly got himself up, despite his tiredness, and hurried to put on his clothes

'arree? where are you going? are you going to call someone?' louis questioned. harry didn't know what the kid was saying, wasn't even paying attention. he just knew he had to leave straight away if he didn't want to get caught. 

'um, yeah sure.' he mumbled dismissively. he managed to pull his jeans up and was doing the zipper. he felt bad for the boy, didn't like to see him in pain or distress and he definitely didn't want to just leave him. he felt closer to him than any other person he'd done this with. however he knew that if he ever even wanted to have the _option_ of seeing louis again he'd have to leave. 

harry walks back over to the bed and crouches down to give louis a chaste kiss on the lips, keeps to clean because he knows how bad the boy must be feeling. 'bye louis. i'll miss you.' harry says, looking him straight in the eyes and meaning every word of it. 

'you're just going downstairs to get the phone 'arree' louis giggles and it actually manages to make harrys heart clench from how innocent and naive louis is.

harry gives him a small smile and one last look before he gets up and makes his way out of the room, out of the stairs, and out of louis life.

\--

it had been 30 minutes since harry had gone downstairs and louis was wondering where he had got to. he decided to get out of bed and look for him, but as soon as he tried to move a pain started shooting from his bum up his spine. he winced and a new wave of tears spilled out his eyes, but after many attempts he managed to get out of bed and as he turned around to look at his bed he saw that there was more than a trickle of blood like he'd thought but instead a whole puddle on he bedsheet. 

whimpering, he quickly turned around and limped his way downstairs calling 'arree' every five seconds. 

'louis?' a higher pitched voice called out. 'ally? where's 'arree? how are you awake?' he asked 

'i don't know but he's not here. maybe he left? and i'm not sure i just woke up like five minutes ago.' ally explained 'wait, are those tears? you're crying! what's wrong?' ally asked, concerned and worried. 

'my bum hurts and i'm bleeding from there' he sniffles. 'what like your period?' she wonders 

'my what?' _what the heck is a period?_ 'your.. period.' it's like when you bleed from inside you' she says, answering the question in his mind. 

'oh.. i guess it is that then. thanks for the explanation.' 

'no problem' she assures, and reaches forward to pull louis into a tight hug. 

when they pull apart, after a _full minute_ , louis looks at her and asks, 'what was that for?' 

she looks at louis with sympathy and upset in her eyes 'you'll find out soon enough.' 

louis just nods and looks down, he feels like she's staring deep within him, through his skin and into his bones. 

he doesn't exactly like the feeling 

'so.. how about we watch the rest of that sports movie?' she questions, with a grin. louis nods again and offers her a small smile.

and as ally and louis watch the movie for the ten minutes they have before it finishes, louis feels like maybe the pain will get better and he'll forget all about the terrible night 

although he does hope he can see harry again. 

\--

_**fin** _


	2. my heart is untamed still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> louis didn't even want to celebrate his birthday so he wasn't sure why he was allowing himself to be dragged to a club on a friday night that could be spent in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so um you guys wanted a sequel so i made this um its kinda crappy i think but i hope you enjoy regardless!! :)

'happy birthday, louis!' ally shouts, jumping onto louis and causing the boy to jerk awake. 

'what. the fuck?' louis glares at his cousin, and pushes her off of him. not expecting the push, she loses her balance and falls onto the carpeted floor.

'argh, you wanker I was just saying happy birthday.' she groans and _oh yeah_ today was his birthday. It shouldn't have been this easy for him to forget considering he was turning sixteen. the age he'd love to be when he was about six, not when he was fifteen.

'well hurry up then. do you want us to be late for school?' ally asks, snapping louis out of his trance and making louis groan. school. on his _birthday_ of all days. and okay, maybe it was a friday, but still. 

he gets out of bed and lugs his way towards the bathroom. it was going to be a very long day. 

\--

making his way into the cafeteria, louis sighed. it was only lunch yet he was already exhausted. 

maybe it had something to do with the fact that as soon as he'd entered his form room this morning everyone had shouted at him and bombarded him with cards and gifts and hugs. sometimes he'd wonder why he ever wanted to be friends with everyone. 

or maybe it was because of the fact that he kept being asked out by clingy girls all day asking if he wanted some _birthday fun_ and come on, did they not have any self respect? although maybe he shouldn't have shouted 'I'm gay so if you could piss off that'd be great.' at the random blonde that had asked him out before maths. in the very crowded hallway. 

the news had been traveling around all day and if he hadn't already come out to his close friends and family he probably would've cared. 

plopping himself in a spare chair on his regular table louis bangs his head on the cold, probably dirty surface.

feeling someone poking his forehead he looks up and makes eye contact with ally. 

'fuck off' he mutters, voice muffled by his arm that's covering his mouth. 

'come on louis!' ally grins, 'a little birdy by the name of the the entire school population tells me you came out this morning' 

louis groans and hits his head back onto the table top. 

'what's up his arse?' a deep voice, _zayn,_ he thinks, asks, taking the seat next to him. 

'he's upset that his youthful days are growing limited by the second.' ally explains. 

'don't worry lou, it happens to the best of us' liam sympathises and what? when did he get here. 

'what's up his arse?' a feminine voice asks, probably perrie, and _god_ louis hates his friends. 

\--

packing his school bag up at the end of the day louis couldn't be happier. he couldn't wait to just go home, have a cup of tea and then fall straight into bed. in the middle of his daydream about his warm bed is he's, very rudely, interrupted by a very excited looking niall. 

'what?' louis asks, with no venom behind his words. can anyone really be angry at niall? 

'get ready for your first real club experience man!' niall shouts, slapping louis shoulder. 

'what, are you talking about?' 

'your birthday celebration! we're all going out! zayn got us all fake ids'

and why does everybody hate louis so much that he can't even get a nice day in on his birthday. 

it's probably cause of all the times he stole liam's candy in year three. 

'I don't get a say in this, do I?' louis sighed. he already knew the answer. it was a dumb question. 

niall just grinned at him and started o drag him out of the classroom. 

\-- 

lying to his parents was relatively easy for louis. he'd told them that he was just going to ally's and they were going to study and do 'absolutely nothing else'. 

he wasn't really sure how he got away with it half the time. 

\--

zayn usually wasn't one for double checking things. it had caused him to be short changed more than once in the past. 

yet when louis was handed his fake i.d in the line for the club the first thing he done was check the date of birth. 

' _twenty one?_ ' louis asked, flabbergasted, 'how the fuck do it look twenty one, zayn?' 

'what? he said they were all nineteen'

'did you bother to _check_?'

zayn flushes and looks down at his feet. in truth louis probably couldn't care less whether he got into this club or not. although if he had the choice he may tilt towards the latter. 

\--

45 minutes later everyone is starting to get restless. 

perrie and ally have started (and finished) half of the backup vodka, zayn (with the help of _liam_ ) has smoked about four cigarettes and nialls been silent for about twenty minutes. it's scary. 

not to mention it's freezing cold (they are in london, what did louis expect when he wore a hoodie as a jacket) and if the clouds are anything to go by it's going rain any minute now. 

just when louis' about to announce his departure he looks up and sees there's about three people in front of their group and ok, when did everybody suddenly disappear?

it turns out the three people are in a group and as soon as the bouncer opens the door and allows them access, louis is suddenly rushed over with nerves. 

what if the guy works for the police? what if he realises it's a fake i.d and gets someone to beat him up? what if-

'i.d?' a deep voice asks and louis feels like he's about to shit his pants. 

he pulls the laminated card out of the back pocket of his jean and shakily hands it to the man. 

the man studies then card then looks back at louis. he feels the hairs at the back of his neck start to stick up and looks at his shoes, avoiding the mans gaze. 

'how old are you?' the man asks

'twenty one. how old do I look?' 

'don't play jokes here, boy.' the guard barks, 'I have a business to look after. so I'll ask you again, how old are you?'

louis gulps. he can already feel himself break into a sweat and who decided that he should go first again? 

suddenly louis decided he was going to get into this club, mostly to prove a point to this guy, but still. he guesses it was a good thing he was too lazy to shave this morning. he was told it added a few years. 

'listen mate, I'm twenty one and yeah, I look about eighteen, wonders what anti-ageing cream can do these days, but I don't appreciate you treating me like a kid. and to be quite honest you're kind of ruining my night out so if you could allow me access into this club or I'm sure me and my friends would be happy to go somewhere else.'

the bouncer just stared at louis and for a second louis was scared he was going to get punched. 

until the man just hands back the card and opens the door for louis to go through. he'd probably be a bit worried at how he managed to look twenty one at _sixteen_ but for the moment he was on a bit of a high. 

he made his way through the door with a mumbled 'thanks'. 

\-- 

 

at the booth they're sitting in louis has a clear view of the bar and the dance floor. he can see the people in their young twenties grinding up against each other and the tired, sweaty ones having a drink at the bar. there isn't one person that looks over thirty. 

'louis that was sick, mate. didn't know you had it in you' zayn shouts, clapping louis on the back. 

'yeah I'm still shocked. more so that he brought it' ally adds, her and perrie joining the booth with their drinks from the bar. 

louis just grins at them. it isn't so bad he guesses. he does love his friends. he decides to tell them so. 

'I love you guys. thanks for this.'

'no problem. just think in two years we won't have to go through the hassle outside' niall laughs, 'now come on let's take shots. dibs on the pink one!' 

louis just laughs and reaches for a shot glass. once they all have one liam shouts out 'to lou!'and if they spend the first hour doing just that then nobody has to know. 

\-- 

everyone had gone to dance and louis and zayn were still in the booth. 

'so, why don't you go dance with perrie?' louis wonders aloud

'wanted to stay with you.' zayn says back, 'can't have the birthday all by himself can we?' he reaches up to pat louis' hair 

'no we can't. how about more drinks?' 

'louis there's no more drinks left' zayn explains 

'ok! I'll get more!' louis replies, jumping up and nearly losing his balance. 

'you alright?' zayn asks 

'yeah. be back in a sec' 

louis stumbles his way over to the bar and, once he reaches it, grips onto the side so he doesn't lose his balance. 

he waits for the bartender to notice him so he can order but there are a bunch of people that must feel the same as louis so he's stuck waiting. when were this many people in the club anyway. 

he feels a tap on the shoulder and thinking it's the bartender he turns quickly. 

'hi, could I have-' the words die in his mouth as soon as he sees that, no, he's not talking to the bartender but the most attractive boy (man?) he's ever seen. he has the softest looking quiff that manages to seem curly and louis just wants to mess up. he also has piercing green eyes and louis can already feel himself getting lost in them. 

'you' louis finishes. and what? louis blushes furiously and looks down. 

the man laughs and louis frowns at his feet. he knows that laugh. 

he looks back up and is greeted with the sight of the man smirking at him. he sees louis' frown and has a knowing look. 

the man leans in towards louis and louis may hope that he's about to be kissed by him. 

'I'm harry' is whispered into his ear instead and when the man leans back out it clicks. 

it's harry. _harry_ who had raped him. _harry_ who he was told if he ever saw again to call the police immediately. _harry_ who he really wanted to kiss. so he did. 

he wasn't exactly sure how he was supposed to react to seeing his rapist after four years but he was sure that pushing him onto the bar side to kiss him deeper probably wasn't what he was meant to do. he done it anyway. 

harry, still shocked by the kiss, was easy to push backwards. 

getting back into himself, harry pushed back and grinned. 

'someone's pleased to see me' he asserted

'big words there harry, don't hurt yourself' 

at that harry bursts out laughing and it might just make louis' chest warmer at the sound. 

when harrys done laughing he looks at louis' face then down at his outfit. louis blushes slightly at the feeling. he probably should've dressed down a bit. 

he was wearing black vans, jeans and a navy blue top. they all suddenly felt impossibly tight. 

'well somebody defiantly grew up,' harry finally says, licking his lips. 'how old are you now louis?'

'um, I'm sixteen. it's actually my birthday today.' louis offers, 'that's why I'm here. my friends wanted to take me out. wild sixteenth and shit'

harry hums in reply and looks louis in the eye. 

after a minute he speaks up.

'how about we skip the small talk and me politely asking you to dance and we just get out of here?'

louis' thinking goes into overload at those words. only an idiot would go back to harrys house after everything's that happened. for all he knows he could be a murderer aswell. 

but there's a part of louis that _wants_ to go back to harrys; to go and have one night where he just doesn't think about his actions or what anything means. 

'or we can just go to the toilets if that's better' louis looks at harry and he's smirking and seriously how much can one person do that? louis needs to wipe it off his face. 

maybe that's the reason why in the blink of an eye he's pulling on harrys white shirt and dragging him towards the male toilets. 

\-- 

louis and harry burst into the second stall of the empty bathroom. 

it may have been easier to not bash into the door several times before getting inside the tiny space if they weren't connected by the lips but neither of them had wanted to stop. 

harry pushes louis up against the grimy wall and leans into him, making the kiss messy and sloppy. 

louis reaches up and runs his hands through harrys hair, messing up the perfectly styled piece. (and of course it was as soft as louis had thought). 

louis pushed harry away from him and started to pant. he had about 2% oxygen in him and he didn't think this was the way he was planning to die. 

harry gave him about 10 seconds before he went back in, right when louis mouth was open, making their teeth clash together and louis keen, the sound lost in harrys mouth. 

harry starts to grind his crotch into louis making the younger boy break the kiss to groan. 

harry goes back to making out with louis as soon as he breaks away and continues to rub their crotches together until he feels louis start to stiffen in his jeans. 

he moves down onto louis' neck and starts to gently nip at the skin, biting lightly then sucking the skin into his mouth, causing louis to throw his head back only to hit it on the stall wall. 

'fuck, harry' louis moans, bucking into where harry is moving into him. 

'does that feel good baby?' harry breaths out onto louis neck. 

'yes, so good' 

harry gives louis' neck one more kiss before he moves back and suddenly pulls louis shirt over his head. 

'what-' 

'shh' harry looks at louis chest then back at his face with a hunger in his eyes that louis doesn't think he'd ever forget 

harry suddenly attacks his chest kissing all down it until he reaches his belly button, in which he licks inside and louis had never thought _that_ would turn him on. 

while lost in the bliss, louis doesn't realise harry has undone his zipper and pulled his boxers down until he feels a warm heat over the head of his cock. 

louis squeezes his eyes shut as harry works half of his shaft into his mouth and plays with his balls. 

harry starts to work more and more of louis into his mouth and it has louis digging and scratching his nails into the wall he's leaning on. 

louis bucks up into harrys mouth, making the older boy gag. harry comes off coughing, and pushes his forearm onto louis' waist, keeping him in place and returns his mouth onto his cock. 

louis bites his lips to contain his moans and once harry realises what he's doing he deepthroats him making the boy choke out, 'shit, harry'. 

harry comes off and stands back; he hastily kisses louis before he takes off his own top, throwing it with louis', on top of the stall door. 

he takes a condom and a lube sachet out of his jean pocket and opens it, lubing up one finger and moving it closer to louis, searching

'do you ways keep it in there?' louis laughs. 

his laughter stops abruptly when he feels harrys finger slowly enter him and fuck were they alway this long?

harry fucks louis with the one finger, making him mewl into the air, before he suddenly adds another and starts to finger him open. 

'shit, harry. fuck. fuck. _fuck_ ' louis moans as harry hits his spot. 

harry adds another finger and spreads them out inside louis, feeling his muscles squeeze around him. 

after a minute or so, he pulls out his fingers, rolls the condom on and starts to lube up his cock. 

louis starts sweating in anticipation. he hadn't had sex in about two months and he was about to go crazy. 

harry directs himself to louis entrance then swiftly enters him. 

louis whimpers at the fullness and harry wastes no time as he starts thrusting into louis. 

'fuck, faster please' louis groans 

harry complies and starts ramming into louis harder and faster, until with each thrust, he's being pushed into the wall by the force. 

louis closes his eyes and lets the feeling of ecstasy wash over him. he stores away the feeling of how it feels with harry inside him, what it's like being pressed up against the wall in a dingy club just being _taken_.

he opens his eyes and sees harry staring straight at him. 

'do you like this louis? do you like getting fucked in a bathroom like a dirty whore?' harry whispers into his ear. 

louis just whimpers at the words spilling from harrys mouth. 

'I was right about you louis, you grew up to be a real cock slut. I can't imagine how many dicks you've had inside you. why do you think I wanted to use a condom'

louis cries out at the words, his eyes starting to water, he needed to come so badly. he fucks himself down onto harrys cock. 

'look at yourself louis. you need it so badly. is this what you do every friday night? go out and get fucked by random guys you won't remember the name of in the morning?' 

'yes harry. love getting fucked by random guys. love being filled up and being used by them. fuck.'

harry wraps his large hand around louis cock and starts to give it rough jerks. 

'you really did grow up, louis. remember when I first fucked you? how much you'd cried. how about this time louis? could you come for me this time? be a good boy, hm?' harry sucks the lobe of louis ear into his mouth and nibbles at it. 

louis bites at harrys shoulder as he comes, a sob choking it's way out of his mouth as his orgasm washes it's way through him. 

his walls clench around harrys cock as he comes down from his high. 

harry continues to fuck into him though and he flinches from the oversensitivity. 

louis feels his head being pushed up and he makes eye contact with harry. 

that's what does it for harry and with a low groan he comes inside the condom. 

he steadily pulls out and louis hole starts to clench again at the gush of cold air. 

harry takes off the condom, ties it in a knot and turns to throw it into the farthest corner of the stall. 

he turns back around and gingerly kisses louis' hair. 

'that was nice' he whispers into it. 

'yeah.' louis replies. 'yeah' 

harry helps him pull pack up his jeans and he does the same for him then they both sit on the disgusting floor. 

and if louis cuddles into harry and falls asleep, well, nobody has to know about that either. 

\-- 

when louis jerks awake it's much like how it was in the morning. 

this time however, it's zayn shaking his shoulders. 

'louis! you twat you've been gone for like three hours!' zayn shouts 'we've all been worried sick' 

'what- where's harry?'

'harry? why- wait louis, was.. was harry here?' zayn asks, utterly confused. 

'zayn please don't be angry and don't tell anybody. please' louis pleads. 

'louis? what the fuck what happened? why was harry here' 

'well short story we had sex' louis mutters

zayn doesn't reply so louis looks up and wishes he hadn't instantly. 

'you had _sex_ with your _rapist_? what the fuck is wrong with you?' 

louis flinches and looks back down. he feels like he's about to cry. he sniffs to hold back the tears. 

he feels a pair of hands wrap around his neck and muttered 'sorrys' breathed into his neck 

he tries to laugh at it sounds painfully like a sob. had harry just left him? he wipes his eyes and abruptly stands up, causing zayn to topple over and nearly fall onto the grimy floor. 

'louis! I could've fell. this is my leather jacket' zayn exclaims 

'but you didn't. see you stopped yourself with your hand all you have to do is wash it'

zayn sighs and stands up with louis. they both make their way out of the tiny yellow stall and into the main restroom area. 

they walk over to the sink and they both wash hands with possibly more soap than necessary. 

once they've both attempted to dry their hands with the broken dryer they make their way back into the main area of the club. 

\--

and if when louis is lying in zayns bed later that night, after they had decided that's where they'd all crash, he sees small black lettering that was smudged by water and soap, which may or may not have been a set of numbers at some time,

well, he doesn't have to know about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i hope you liked :)

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! :)


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